


Сultural misunderstanding

by Justin_Hill



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Cultural Differences, Fluff and Humor, Kíli thought that Tauriel is a woman, M/M, Misunderstandings, Tauriel thought that Kíli is a dwarfmaid, but surprise surprise, holly Molly what was I thinking, male!Tauriel, probably I was drunk when I wrote this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-13
Updated: 2014-01-13
Packaged: 2018-01-08 14:55:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1134004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justin_Hill/pseuds/Justin_Hill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Okay, let be honest, English is not my native language and I have no beta. I just try to improve my English. So if you want to criticize then you are welcome, just be gentle with me please. =P</p>
    </blockquote>





	Сultural misunderstanding

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, let be honest, English is not my native language and I have no beta. I just try to improve my English. So if you want to criticize then you are welcome, just be gentle with me please. =P

Tauriel was strange. She wasn't look like dwarf maid, she didn't have beard or even the moustaches and if Kili wanted to kiss her, he should lift his head. As opposed to dwarf's women Tauriel was the real lady - Kili didn't really hear any profanity from her, and she was so beautiful and mysterious as the stars which were so pleasant to Tauriel. She was associated with an elf magic, moonlight and Miracle. Her name was euphonious as a good mead. There was not enough facial hair, but these are elves, what they had had to take. And even if the uncle Thorin was looking at him strange and shaking his head disapprovingly, it didn't embarrass Kili. It was worth it.

***  
  
Tauriel never met such a strange dwarf maid. Actually he had never met any dwarf maid before, but he fell in love with the the first one of them he saw. Saucy but outspoken at the same time Kili was nothing like her stubborn brother or principled Torin. The forest elves weren't famous by their tactfulness and politeness, but in Kili's presence Tauriel swallowed a couple of strong expressions, which was ready to slip out. He almost yielded to provocation, however to get into girl's pants in the first day of acquaintance wasn't in Tauriel's rules (even if it was under the pretext of a search and shetried to tempt him by her stories about mysterious caves). And what a beautiful name "Kili", sonorous and bright, as the mountain river. And even if Legolas looked upon him as though he was the pervert, a growth difference didn't make Tauriel confused. It was worth it.

***  
  
Disobedient fingers didn't wish to fight against numerous fasteners on clothes.  
The thought about caves which Kili had promised to show him was beating in Tauriel's head like a bird in a cage.  
_Now. It will be happen... now_ , Kili thought about of elf magic and Miracle.  
  
And then the Miracle happened.

***  
  
“Huh,” Tauriel swallowed a couple of strong expressions through habit.  
  
“Fucking shit,” cursed Kili. Just picked up that from his uncle, Tauriel had no doubt about that.  
  
“Uh-huh,” assented Tauriel still being shocked, staring at the penis in his hand. Not his penis. His own cock was in Kili's palm whom squeezed his fingers in the mortal grip. Whether because of shock or the hatred for elves finally prevailed.  
  
Tauriel swallowed.  
  
The elf and the dwarf exchanged a look, but none of them didn't hurry to sneer at another. They both screwed up. “But the caves...”  thought Tauriel absently. He cleared his throat and risked.  
  
 “I thought that... If this is how _you_ look like, then how does the dwarf _maid_   look like?” the question sounded at the same time with Kili's “Why elf's men look so similar to women?”  
  
“This is awkward,” Kili loosened his grip and gave Tauriel a timid smile. Tauriel breathed with relief.  
  
“Exactly,” Tauriel confirmed, thinking of how to recede without being reduced to dust. He had no idea what to do now. And Legolas will ridicule him, really.  
  
“And the paper will be wasted...” continued Kili as if nothing had happened.  
  
“What paper?” asked the elf confusedly. Truly, these dwarves were capable to mislead him one by the only phrase.  
  
“With gilding. Fili had already prepared the invitations,” Kili noticed a puzzled look and added, turned red, “the wedding invitations.”  
  
Tauriel looked on ablush Kili thoughtfuly and estimated. He had no wish to return to Mirkwood where anybody didn't wait him (except neighed Legolas), Tranduil for certain too expected to have a good time at the wedding, and Kili... Kili suddenly seemed to be a nice lad. And now Tauriel understood what is the only thing he could do.  
  
“With gilding, you said?” Tauriel caught a warm hand which slipped away and returned it to his cock.  
  
“And with a silver ink,” added Kili quickly and made an exploratory move. Tauriel goaned and returned the favor straightway.  
  
“Then we can't let them wasted,” he whispered. His warm breathe ghosting across Kili's lips and he leaned down to kiss the dwarf. Well, Kili was not a girl, yeah. On the other hand the name was beautiful.


End file.
